When is the Right Time?

I have had this question in my head now for some time, turning it over and over, waiting to be asked and answered.  When is the right time to start talking to your kids about money?  After all, money is certainly one of those taboo topics.  When is the last time you talked to friends, acquaintances, co-workers, family, or even your therapist about your finances?   Exactly!  So how do we talk to our kids about something that we just don’t know how to talk about?

First off, we need to understand our own relationship with money.  Here is my suggestion, find someone you really trust, this can include a pet.  Set aside some time (even 5 minutes) and just start spilling the beans about your money story.  Be sure to include your earliest memories of money, your parents’ relationship with money (as seen through your eyes), your deepest desires about what you would do if you won the lottery, any fears you have about money and your dark secrets about money (i.e. the time you spent your paycheck on “fill-in the blank”).  These stories are connected to so many feelings that they clog our thinking, keeping us from being truly present in the realities of our current money situation.  When we tell these stories, let these ghosts out of the proverbial closet, their power over us lessens.  We can then face our current financial situation as it is and use our minds to make the best decisions we can based on our realities.  It is from this place that we can talk honestly and openly with our children about money.

Secondly, the money “talk” is not a one-time event; there is no perfect age or even perfect way to get this “talk” done right.  So just do it.  Every time something about money comes up include your kids. Obviously, depending on their age(s) they will have different levels of understanding.  Regardless, let them help pay the bills (even if this is just coloring in your check register) and put spare change in the piggy bank.  Bring children (ages 6-9) to UMassFive to open an account and join our Super Savers Club!  When facing challenging financial times be honest about the difficulties, all the while reassuring the young people in our lives that we are doing the best we can to take care of them. 

We cannot underestimate what even the youngest among us are absorbing.  My 2-year old son will clearly ask, “Mama, do you have mah-nee?” and then the other day he found a quarter and said “I have mah-nee!” just before putting it in his mouth.